|Scene in Monster Moored|
I think it must be that I have a short fuse for boredom, and reading and correcting a manuscript for the so many-est times gets plain boring.
And so I have already failed this important step in my attempt to make Monster Moored a better story. My beta readers marked up the areas which needed more explanation and I was well on the way.
However, one of the suggestions was to have the monster eat someone, as in consume bloodily. This is not an easy matter, I found. The only ones in the surf with Tardi at the time of the the monster's manifestation were Polk, Tardi's best friend, and Threen, Tardi's secret love. (You understand I couldn't have the monster eat Threen!)
So, OK, it's easy to have the monster seize Polk and chomp into him. It's not easy then to write Polk's demise forward and backward. His end has to have some effect on Tardi, doesn't it?
And plus, the monster in the ocean is the hallucinatory version of the monster in Zoo Hall. So how does it eat Polk? How does Polk later re-appear? And as what? Also a hallucination? Suddenly Polk is more than just a shallow secondary character, he has to have oomph. He has to have likes and dislikes. Agency. In other words he has just become one of the do-ers.
I mean, Polk has to have a use in the ongoing story. In the goodness of time, after some heavy duty thinking, I decided he might be very successful in helping to free Tardi from the monster at the end of the story, because Polk, with lovely hubris, thinks he is the better person to be the monster's man. And so he helps enable the novel to primarily be Tardi's story, to be a standalone. (Which may help getting it published.)